#57- Sex Club

Oct 2, 2019

Alice is joined by guest co-host Allison McKnight (@thatmcknight) and N.S.F.W. sex club owner, Daniel Saynt (@danielsaynt). Sex club info and etiquette , religious repression, sex club themes, and more. 

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0:09
Welcome to Two girls one Mic the podcast whose sex club rules are exactly the same as Fight Club, and coincidentally also run by Joseph Gordon Levitt with dissociative identity disorder.

0:21
So hot

0:23
actually was really hot. It's a newest club in New York actually. So with me, you guys are probably hearing a familiar voice. That is the voice of my beautiful guest co host, Allison McKnight from our et episode, Alison, how you doing today? I am

0:42
doing that's about as far as I got. But now you said Joseph Gordon Levitt, so I'm doing better.

0:48
Does anyone have any connections to him that we know of? I'd like to be connected to him. Daniel, how about you? Do you have any connections to

0:54
him? Don't reveal any member details. Oh,

1:00
No. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. Guys. I'm your host, Alice Vaughn. And with me You guys are hearing Daniel St. He is. And I have never heard this job title before chief conspirator of ns, Fw the new society for wellness, new society

1:19
for wellness. It's really good when you can make up your own title. It's really it's really helpful. You can have some fun with

1:24
what are the other options?

1:27
I don't think there are any, there really were any other ones. I mean, this felt like such an underground thing from the beginning. So conspirator just made sense. And before I was like, kind of open and public about doing this, that was what was used in press. So it certainly felt right.

1:41
It feels like you should have a more significant role in some sort of elaborate, I don't know, international scheme.

1:48
Yeah, that's literally what we're trying to do.

1:51
Very public about it.

1:54
Yeah, change sex perceptions around the world. Why not?

1:56
So yeah, so you run a sex club and we've actually never had Sex club owner on this show before.

2:03
For some of our listeners, you want to give a quick definition of a sex club, like a rundown description, something to kind of give them context.

2:10
Yeah. So I mean, I think a lot of people think of sex club as a place where you go to have sex, that's a big part of it for us, we kind of do a lot more around the space. So not only we hosting events where sex is allowed, and sex is okay to have we do education around sex. So we teach about BDSM to Tantra, we teach about touch relationships, how to be in open relationships, how to ask for sex, so we're constantly covering different subjects in the world of sex. So it's a sex club, in the sense of, it's all about sex, but it's more different from what people would traditionally think of when they think of a sex club and the audience that we attract. And the people that are here is very, very different from any other sex club that exist around the world. So it's kind of unique in that way. We like to call it a love club, because there's more focused on that than anything else.

2:57
How did you even get into this industry? I'm curious. Yes,

3:01
well, my background is actually in fashion. I started off as a fashion blogger then became really popular, took over for marketing for a big handbag line, which did very, very well and maybe a little bit famous in that space. And then started an agency where I was representing digital influencers, and then bought a magazine called nylon and then realize I hated fashion and consumerism and trying to get people to buy things that didn't actually make them happy. And I wanted to apply my skills to something that could make people happy. So I decided to focus on sex and cannabis. But that's just one of the reasons why I started as a W. It's like it's very, there's so many factors into it. Like around the time I was coming out as bisexual, I wanted to be more open with my sexuality and talk about it. I felt like there wasn't really anyone out there who's male bisexual who's like, you know, presenting and being open and honest about it. So that was a big factor. I just got through a divorce, which was very, very difficult, very connected to my bisexuality, which was unfortunate, but I kind of felt a need to, I don't know, bring people together and teach them about sex and like make it less scary. Make less time Boo, make it a community make it a place where you know that people are coming, you know, they're behaving a certain way and you know that it's safe. So yeah, and so Toby kind of sparked from all that. I had a very religious background, which helped with it because you just kind of realize how kind of backward some of that stuff is and how detrimental shame is for people in general and teaching them to live more shamelessly teaching them to be more proud about who they are and more comfortable with their sexuality is a very key element of, I guess, the programming that we try to instill in our members and try to teach them that it's okay to be sexual.

4:33
That's awesome. So we went from fashion to influencers to sex clubs, I mean, trying to feel like I feel like that's not even a hard jump.

4:42
I mean, it really was, I don't know I had done it like secretly for like two years just testing it out, testing out all the classes and events and things I want to create, and just building the community initially from like my friend group and people I knew. So we have a lot of people who are kind of in the fashion industry or models or you know, in those Kind of media driven industries, which was nice. It's what a lot of us get so much of the press that we got. So we've been very fortunate to build a really cool community, a very interesting community, very influential community. And now we're kind of taking that forward and pushing more into politics and pushing more into how we change the law and how we change the way people approach sex. Yeah, that's kind of the most of it. I mean, there's so much stuff going on here. Like it's really, it's a little insane where the company is right now. And what we've built is, it's just very interesting. It's like, I've hosted over a 500 play parties. I've seen so many people having sex, and so we will share their sex lives and so many people share the things that, you know, could they kind of discover the gain from it, and it's just encouraging. Like, I feel like we'll have these all around the world at some point.

5:45
You mentioned that yours is different than other sex clubs. I'll be frank, I've never visited a sex club. So I don't know that different types. Allison, do you have more experience here?

5:54
I do have more experience. Yes, but they're all different. So that's why I am Tim because like when I mentioned sex clubs to friends, they're like, what happens at sex clubs? Are they make some stupid joke and they're all different and who's running them changes Exactly. And what their focus is what their rules are.

6:13
Yeah, I think before I started NSFW, probably around the age of 16, I started going to sex clubs and just seeing what was out there. You know, being bisexual, go to gay clubs, go to St spaces, kind of really getting a feel for what was available. And I travel the world a lot. So I went to a lot of international spaces. And I kind of just came up to this realization that a lot of the sex that's available for men is just not available for women. And a lot of the spaces that exists, we're just not safe. It was a lot of consent violations. I've been sexually assaulted multiple times, raped multiple times. And it just became something where it didn't feel like that was the place that people would discover sexuality. That's not the place where people are going to feel comfortable exploring their sexuality or enjoying it or trying new things. So it kinda was just seeing like, there wasn't a place in the market space that really catered to women specifically, but also cater to those who want to exist in a space where consent is respected. And enthusiastic consent is practice. And before anyone touches you, they ask and a woman can come solo and walk around naked and not feel harassed, you know. So it was going through those experiences negatively positively seeing what I enjoyed seeing what I liked, and picking and choosing things that made sense. And then, over the past five years of building this really setting the model for how people should engage in group sex, how people should engage in these activities. And in doing so, you know, over 2000 members, we get about 600 people applying each month. It's been rapidly growing. We're looking at multiple cities now, including LA, London, Paris, and Israel. With just opportunities to open up and build this there. We're building out our franchise model we just did our first round of fundraising. It's crazy. It's hard to describe how much the market needed this and how much they've responded to it.

7:54
How do you select from your applicants and then how do you onboard them to your consent rules? And any other rules you have in place

8:01
also been what's a little curious? What's application process even look like? Yeah, I've never had to apply for a sex club. Is this more? This is more serious than a Tinder profile, I'm guessing.

8:12
Oh, yeah, it's way more serious. And it's in your profile. You know, for most places, it's really anyone can go. So there's not really an application process. The people that you're around can be just random people. There's a lot of like smaller private play groups that have a curated group, but it's mostly people who are either part of that Burning Man camp or like kind of just swingers who swing with them. For us the application process goes through a lot. We have a group members called the council They are the ones who kind of observed members at the events to see how they're behaving and how they're interacting. beforehand. The Counselor reviews all the membership applications people provide their social media profiles, they provide ultimate fantasies, they provide what they're into. There's over 46 things they can choose from it's you know, men, women, non binary trans like literally everyone's allowed to apply. Enjoy And we have all that representation within our club, which is great. When they give us their ultimate fantasies, it lets us know about what they're trying to accomplish, where they are in their sexual journey. And what they're trying to do, when they give us how they identify, lets us know, like on the scale, in a sense of Kinsey scale, but a little bit more advanced, exactly where they are in the spectrum of sex and how much they're gonna enjoy the experience or how they're going to interact with it. And then they share how they can contribute, which is really great. Because you get lawyers, you get people who are very influential in a lot of things, you get people who have wealth and other things. But you also get artists you get creatives, you get people who are want to add to the process of what we're doing. So we have a better understanding of them. When we look through their social media profiles. The main things we're looking at is based off of a couple points of attraction that we've identified. So physical attraction, that's the obvious one. If someone's physically attractive, that's great. It's you know, it helps if they are not and there's other things that we point to for attraction that includes their career, like what they are doing in their lives. Do they travel a lot? Do they have a large circle of friends? Are they married or single, you know, do They seem like someone who dates a lot that always goes into the process of it. And then artists, creatives, people who are actually doing work that's always a positive. So we look forward to having that

10:09
as well. This is more intense in the last few job interviews. So I'm already envisioning the council wearing robes. Like head to toe like the manners just in the quarters of the club watching people. Yes, yes. Taking notes

10:24
not like that. I mean, it's like it's missing. I'm sorry, it's out It seems like that. It's it's just wording it's marketing jumbo

10:31
asking for references. Yeah, if you

10:32
have a member reference that helps you get in a lot faster, because then we have someone we can go to but like, hey, should this person be here?

10:37
Oh, I was gonna go with my like, second grade art teacher. Oh, yeah.

10:40
If you can provide a reference letter of any previous

10:43
text with your second grade.

10:46
Not in second grade, mind you just ever. As an adult, it's not on my bucket list. But now I'm like, shut up.

10:55
And she looked back to see that virus was.

10:57
Yeah. So what's your acceptance rate? For just, you know, a non connected application just through the website or whatever you're using,

11:05
when we initially started accepting three, it was around 10% of those who applied, we've increased it just because it's getting to be such a much wider base and so many more people are applying. Also, it's like, it's almost like people know, in a sense that they shouldn't apply, you know, so it seems like more people who are applying are within that category of the person we're looking for. It's mainly millennial audience, like our average age is 28. So a lot of people who are older probably won't apply. If they're more involved in like the kink scene or other things they might not apply. Like, there's, it's interesting, because like we're building and initially it was like, hard to determine who made sense to come in. But now because there's so much visibility, it's the people who should be here who are responding and the people who should be here who are coming to us. So I think that's been really, really encouraging to like, have a higher acceptance rate.

11:52
So do you send a letter of rejection?

11:54
Yeah, well, we send a letter of rejection and we make suggestions on other places that they might be able to go on their sexual journey and places that are better fit For them, we try to provide them, you know, resources to find what they're looking for. We don't want to stunt anyone's sexual experience or stunt their sexual journey. So at times, we'll be like, oh, here's suggestions. And we also have done articles on other places to go to and check out and things that are more party focused. But yeah, within NSW because of how the community is, and just knowing who's in the room, like you kind of know who makes sense to have in a sense, like, if you can't have a good conversation with someone, you probably shouldn't sleep with them. And if you're like someone who just looks like someone who you wouldn't want to talk to, it's gonna be harder to see if anyone wants to have sex with you. So this is probably not the best place. I'm

12:36
sorry, Louie ck, you can't be in there.

12:41
Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's another thing. It's like trying to find that type of information. You never know with people, you know.

12:46
So what's your normal like, for all the cold applications you receive? What's the most common reason for you to say now,

12:53
wait two people ever send fake photos or fake applications

12:56
data happens to we noticed that sometimes where it's like, there's only one photo On a social profile and like we can't get additional information, and we don't accept those people, like if we can't get enough information from you, you just get a rejection. And yeah, we make it very clear. Like we're going to need to look through stuff to know a little bit more about you and not just have random strangers here.

13:14
But sorry, going back to Allison's question, what's the most common reason that you would probably reject someone?

13:19
lack of information of them online?

13:21
When you have information? What would be the most common reason? Like if you have a full obligation with everything you need? What's your normal reject? I mean,

13:29
I think it comes down to since there's six different things we're looking at, if like two or three of those things aren't fitting, then it doesn't make sense. So it could be someone who is older, but they are, you know, someone who travels and is more successful or as a part of a creative scene, or it could be someone who is a little bit more overweight, you know, deemed in a sense, like possibly unattractive but there's other factors to them, that make them interesting that make them worth being there that can provide that conversation. The most common one again, is not having enough information on them. Or they're answering questions in a really like weird way where it's like, I want to fuck bitches. You know, like if you're just saying that for your reasons join a sex club, you're probably not going to get in.

14:12
Or, like bitches

14:13
get money.

14:14
Yeah, for being exactly. Or I'd say that's one of the things I mean, if you're avid Trump supporter, probably not.

14:24
I'm sure that it also gets to a point where you're like, they're creative, but not in a way that we want. So they sing they play a musical instrument, but they listed the kazoo.

14:32
Yeah, it's like you start looking through and you're

14:34
typically the funeral kazoo.

14:36
Ooh, a few funeral

14:40
that might work at the bed. Working sick that kazoo. That's the question. Know how many events a month Do you host so we do for a week. So it's about 20 minutes per month. And then we do a lot of like speaker panels type things. On this week we're doing the pro sex rally, or our goal is to introduce a new bill into New York City Congress to protect the rights of the sexually exploited that's what the pro sex. So we are drafting our bill the rally is a way to inform people I don't think a lot of people realize how much discrimination they can experience based off of their sexual experiences. You know, they don't realize that you know, if you are part of a sex club that could be potential for you to not get a raise not get hired not succeed or your job. If you are polyamorous and live in a triad, it might be a reason why you don't get housing reason why you can't find a place to live. If you were former porn star and you're trying to get a new career. It's the reason why you can't get hired. A lot of these stories happen regularly. There's usually lawsuits that are associated with it, but they kind of died down or get settled. But we believe that there should be a law that protects that, you know, just like you have laws protecting LGBTs you should have laws that are protecting kinky people and poly people and you know, people who are comfortable being naked, you know, you shouldn't be discriminated against because, you know, your news Leaked

15:55
makes complete sense. I mean, I feel like everybody has a naked photo of themselves on their phone at one point or another

16:01
90% of millennial women have naked photos on their phone 90% like everyone is taking nudes, everyone is sending nudes. Everyone has this out there, you know, will this impact their careers? If it comes out? will it impact their careers? If it's shared at the office? What type of behavior happens at that point? And what actual protections you have, you have none. People don't have any protection against that type of stuff, which is why companies are allowed to discriminate. And that's what we're trying to raise awareness for right now.

16:26
That's awesome. So Bill is just in the early stages. So you said

16:30
so we have a couple of members who are lawyers who are helping us with the drafting of it some that are associated with Lambda Legal so we're hoping we can get their team on board. The Pro sex rally this week is like our first big announcement of it. We just launched I'm pro sex org, which goes into what we're trying to accomplish. We have some amazing speakers, including Sophie St. Thomas acnezine, Remy Duran, just a lot of people who are writers and journalists and already talking about sex in a big way. We have Christina from guys. We thought we have horrible decisions, Mandy from horrible decisions is coming on. So we're trying to get these voices to To not only talk about what is the status of sex, where are we right now? And what's happening, but also, how do we live shamelessly? How do we get to a point where the shame that's associated with sex is removed from people and they can actually live a life that doesn't feel so shitty all the time, you know, and doesn't feel so judgmental all the time. And every decision you make around sex is not like a constant flow of negative feelings. So, yeah, that's the purpose of it. That's what we're trying to do.

17:26
It's funny because people don't realize how much stigma you know, even in liberal cities that, you know, people involved in sex work, even those that weren't even naked themselves. You know, we have had stories on the show where people moved from LA and being producers, editors, writers to New York, and they can't get jobs, you know, in their respective fields because they wrote or edited porn. Yes. And had to make up resumes. It's ridiculous.

17:53
I mean, I think that's the main issue. I think people view all these things and enjoy all these things, and absorb all Sounds like people watch porn, everyone pretty much watches porn, you know, like you're enjoying it. But when it comes to the performers, when it comes to the people who are associated with the industry, you're treating them like lesser people. It's like you enjoy the benefits while you get to make them suffer. That sounds pretty bad. So yeah, it's just seeing something wrong in the world and feeling like there's a way that we can collectively get something done. And with 2000 members and the types of people we have, we feel like the influence of our community is enough to at least get more people talking about it.

18:27
So you keep mentioning shame. And you mentioned much earlier on that having a religious background has helped you and your work what you're doing now. How has that impacted you? And when you were in this religious background, did you feel shamed about your sexuality? Was there some sort of awakening you went through?

18:42
I would say this definitely an awakening. I was raised Jehovah's Witness. I'm like third generation. So my grandmother was a witness. My mom was Jehovah Witness her whole life and then I was Jehovah Witness from birth. It's a fairly strict religion where you really do follow the doctrines of the Bible, but you also aren't allowed to masturbate. You're not allowed to experience any sort of sexual pleasure until you're ready. married.

19:00
Wait, what? Hold on. I didn't know about the non masturbation thing.

19:03
Oh, yeah, yeah, masturbation is one of the worst things you can do. You're supposed to report anytime you have feelings for masturbation. So you're constantly telling these older men like, Hey, I wanted to masturbate last night. And it's really weird when you're 12. And talking about that. So

19:15
have you done that? Did you have to do that?

19:17
Yeah, I had to do that. Totally. Oh, God. It was it was awful. It was very difficult. I remember like, one of my first sexual experiences was with a friend of mine, Bobby, we were playing like x men toys. And he taught me how to suck and Suck my cock. And it was just like, this whole thing. And it felt very, like whatever, you know, normal ish. And I remember telling my parents about it and having to go through the whole process of going to the elders and talking to them about this experience. And I'm like 14 years old, and they basically rebuke you and then they do an announcement in the congregation that you no longer have privileges and then no one can talk to you. So it's this constant group decision that we're going to make everyone feel as ashamed as possible about their sex and their sexuality. And you know, not even going to the fact that I was bisexual. I'm going to the back that Stuff like that it's just this constant, you're always in a state of shame. And it forces you to connect back to those people and connect to that congregation and feel like that's the only place you can be. Outside of that you don't have birthdays, you don't have any celebrations of holidays, you can't associate with anything that's, you know, religious or political. So you're not, you're not, you know, singing the national anthem at school, you're not allowed to associate with anyone outside the religion because everyone's kind of seen as worldly. So you are stuck with only the people within there who are just very much so self policing, and really self policing in a way that keeps you restricted. And I found that, you know, most of the people who are associated with very hardcore religions live a very restrictive life. They're repressed, you know, there's a oppressiveness to how they live and how they have to act. And I felt that everyone outside of that felt very expressive, like they were able to be free, they were able to share what they wanted. But yeah, when I finally left the religion, it was difficult. You know, it was difficult to kind of go into the World Without any knowledge about sex, like, I forged my mom's signature so I could take sex ed in like Middle School, like I was so desperate for a sort of information.

21:02
Yeah, I have to get anything signed. We just took it from Los Angeles, I guess. They're definitely different. Yeah, I

21:09
had to get it totally forged my mom's signature for to be allowed to take sex out in fifth grade. And it was, it was important. It was like it's the information you need.

21:17
So you're saying you wouldn't recommend being a Jehovah's Witness?

21:21
You wouldn't recommend you know, not touching yourself.

21:24
Yeah, I would not suggest not touching yourself.

21:26
Oh, wait, actually a counterpoint to that. I had a boyfriend way back in the day who was raised very Catholic, and he was not allowed to touch himself. And so he would masturbate by humping a pillow or a sleeping bag. From the time he started masturbating onwards. So his ass was steel.

21:44
Like just perfect. And silver lining silver linings. Yes. Good stuff.

21:50
Speaking of repressed religious shit, Are you guys familiar with what sub segments of ultra Orthodox Judaism do when it comes to underwear? No. Who. So after a woman has her period, she has a certain amount of days, I think it's seven or 10 days where her discharge has to, after that period of time be a certain color and size. And if it's the wrong color in size, so bear in mind during your period, you can't touch the males in the household. So if you have a son, you can't hug him. If you have a husband, you can't touch him. And you can't do it during that period after your period as well by the end, so you have to actually take your panties and send them to a rabbi. And if you can mail them to a rabbi, you could give it to the Rabbi's wife or he has a special mailbox for it. Oh, gosh.

22:43
How big is this mailbox? Like cuz

22:45
there's gonna be a lot of women. There's just

22:48
a rally with a whole bunch of like, just stained discharged. What like, what are they collecting in the underwear? They just give them the underwear.

22:55
What? Yeah, and if it's not the right color or size Or texture or whatever, they have to restart this whole like seven or 10 day waiting period before again, they could touch their sons or husbands, I'm pretty

23:07
sure if we can get those panties, we can launch a site and sell them. I feel like that would be a good way of thinking like

23:12
decoration like hanging from phone poles and stuff back to work.

23:17
How do we find these mailboxes? What to do? If you are an Orthodox Jewish woman somehow listening to the show and mail your panties, email us info to girls and Mike, we want to know, please let us know

23:30
that religion is it's a little nuts sometimes. But I think it does good things to like, I feel like one of the things I definitely took away from you know, being in such a close knit community for so long is that feeling of wanting a community and I think without that, the amount of times that you experience church or anything else, like it's continuous, you're constantly studying, you're constantly learning. So I think for me, it's definitely instilled a desire to learn and to really gain a full knowledge of the things I'm talking about from as many perspectives as possible. I was trained for a very early age to teach people why their religion was wrong, which is not the most difficult thing to teach people, which is very difficult thing to teach people. I mean, like you, you learn about when you're studying, you're setting about, you know, Hinduism and Buddhism and Catholics and everyone else, you're learning about how they think and what they think, and how to use the Bible to convince them otherwise, how to get them away from that thinking and how to change their thinking. So I think I appreciate that, you know, being able to even when I didn't believe in something, convince someone that it was true. And now I have something I actually believe in. So it's much more gratifying when I'm able to convince someone that this is not a bad thing. And sex is not bad and weed is not bad. And all these rules that have been established around it Really do come from a place of shame.

24:42
I'm sorry, but the millennials are injecting the marijuana so how can we ever trust them? Going back to sex clubs, I have questions about Well, a lot of things about you know what goes on in them or how to prep yourself going to one or even the cleanup crew What does that look like? How much do you pay them?

25:02
You get paid really well.

25:05
Paid really well

25:05
what dissolves lube best?

25:09
Having a lot of extra sheets, like you just throw out the sheets. No, I think if you're thinking about attending a club, all the clubs have like different rules, you want to find a club that has a very clearly stated consent policy and a way in which you can report things that are happening that might not make you feel comfortable. You want to make sure you know who the organizers are. For most millennials, you know, they don't really go to sex clubs, you know, it's not like a thing they want to and some of them do go to certain places, but it tends to be a one and done type audience. So go once and never go again. They did the experience, they had a bad experience or you're not the greatest experience. It's not on their bucket list anymore. So they kind of move on from that and you know, go the path of monogamy and stuff like that. I would say that. You want to make sure the place how you're going to save, you want to make sure that you're ready for that. If they have you know, pages on fetlife. If they have pages on other places, look at some of the people who are going It's always suggested to go with someone always try to have someone with you, it's almost impossible for women to go to sex clubs alone. So it's kind of a situation where you know, you do want to have a friend with you.

26:10
Why is that? I was gonna say I haven't had any problem going to sex clubs alone.

26:14
Oh, I'm saying like for some of the just like other places like it might not feel, I don't know and I don't feel safe. If you're going your first time you're going solo, like we always suggest, bring a friend even here we say like, Hey, you know, definitely, we should just bring someone. I'm just so you have someone here and there's someone I know, it's just you never know, in certain situations, I think it depends on the sex level you go to if you have one that's more community focused. If you have one that's a little bit more open about the consent policies. If you have ones that are run by women, which is ideal, you're going to find that a lot of that stuff is covered and you feel safer in those places. But if you're going to have more established clubs that have been around for a while and probably have a different audience, you might not feel as safe. So it's really about just researching the club and getting to know who might be there and some of the people you don't want to be Just go so low and just not really have that connection. We have a whole private community so members can connect to each other beforehand, a seeking section where they can say like, Hey, I'm going for my first time as anyone else going, and they start connecting before talking to each other and then getting to know each other even before they set foot inside the club, which helps alleviate some of that stress. Dress Code wise, we always suggest three layers. So there's the alpha that you come in, that eventually comes off. We always suggest robes, have something that you can cover yourself with. Keep track of your underwear, make sure you have a place where you're leaving stuff and you can go back to it because it gets really kind of crazy when we have to return stuff. And we're like, I don't know if it's

27:37
under where it is anywhere as you never know. Do you have a coat check for underwear?

27:41
No, just have a general coat check. Do you

27:43
have lockers set up as I've been to clubs with lockers

27:46
we don't have locker setup but we do have shelving and we do have like places where people can leave their stuff. We might eventually go through have lockers because like the where we have the check in and people leave this up. There is always someone there we have on nymphs basically these women And men dressed in white, who are there to protect the space. So they do door check and they do the bar, they kind of make sure everyone's good. If anyone ever has a problem, you can go to an infant ask them for help, but they also like watch the bags and stuff like that. So people aren't worried about losing stuff.

28:16
You mentioned three layers. So I assume three is like code for you know, it's like Alright, so you got your outer you've got your normal and maybe like launch, right? What about like, if you piled on clothing as if you were trying to sneak clothes through an airport?

28:29
That's totally fine. Do that. Yeah, just like keep

28:31
your seven t shirt off.

28:33
Yes, like slowly. It's like a very long striptease as you're just pulling your hair out.

28:38
We'll get there eventually.

28:42
Like before close it's like you're finally naked.

28:44
took seven hours. Can you walk us through what it would be like for someone you just accepted a first time sex club first time member, their first experience like they have a particular night you'd recommend they come on like will they be guided through or they just kind of kicked it of this pond and being like cool have fun swimming.

29:02
Nope totally kicked in. Now we do an event called send noobs send news is dedicated to all newbies. I teach a class in that called How to ask for sex, which is focused on teaching members enthusiastic consent. We also have a code of conduct, which goes into how we all should behave NSFW and what we're expecting from each other while we're here. The how to ask for sex class is, first of all focus on like, why it's so difficult for us ask for sex, why we're so afraid to vocalize the things we want sexually covering everything from rejection to the lack of consent culture and porn to religious upbringing and fear of like the feelings that we have. And then it goes into how to practice enthusiastic consent and how to make it sexy and how to make it interesting. And then members have an opportunity to share some of their sex stories. They have an opportunity to try out what we're teaching and start asking people for simpler things like you know, massage your hand or touch or things like that. And that kind of leads people into having more of those conversations during sexual activities. The other thing is like we do talk about consent culture. lot at NSFW. So the house rules are respect hydrate, don't be a creeper. hydrate is an obvious one, you know, keep your mind sane and keep yourself aware. Like Don't be overly intoxicated Don't be, you know risks anyone who's at the club house respect is all about consent and understanding the respect of others of understanding people's privacy, you know, not kind of being someone who's revealing anyone in any way. And then don't be a creeper. Any creeper activities that would make someone uncomfortable is what that falls under. After each event, we send out a creeper report. So we allow members to report anyone that made them feel uncomfortable during the event. And then we respond and for every type of report, we have a certain response that needs to be had. So from the more serious stuff which is complete expulsion, and you know, anything we have to do with police or anyone else like that, like really supporting anyone who experiences that which hasn't happened. Thank god to like some of the lighter stuff where it's like, oh, this woman touched me without asking and like Grab my boob, you know, it's like the most recent ones that we've had a lot of women on women type stuff where women feel very comfortable touching someone without asking and not really seeing that, you know, you have to ask everyone just because you're the same gender doesn't mean it's okay for you to touch someone and disrespect their autonomy. So, yeah, it's a big range of stuff. We've had like smaller things where it's like, this person found me on Instagram. It's like, okay, like,

like, I don't know. Yeah, we try our best.

31:28
You mentioned for people to stay hydrated Do you offer water bottles or have a snack machine actually do great as far as snacks if I bring a snack Do I have to bring enough for everyone?

31:42
For haystacks? I mean, we have. We have some snacks and foods available here like there's usually either fruit or some little bites and things. We have tons of water available. We try to keep everyone hydrated tons of like mixers and stuff like that. Wait,

31:54
what is orgy food is crunchy

31:57
food, like bites like bites is a rover or jif I mean, I've been to orgies where someone's mom made rigatoni like it was like a really weird one like there's just like they had a whole buffet. I was just like watching all these people who like I probably wouldn't want to have sex with just eating from the buffet and like kind of going through and I'm just like this is this is not sexy wises athlete. It's a different type of environment. I think I but yeah, no cheeses, no garlic. Oh, wait, nothing that makes your breath smell bad. No onions. Like keep away from things like that. You want to have smaller bite type foods. Trader Joe's has a whole bunch of options for stuff like that if you're doing something at home and trying to host your own, but yeah, stay away from anything that would affect someone's breath. For fruit juices go things like pineapple, fresh berries and fruits even like whole slices of pineapple are great because those who just help and enhance the experience also affects the taste of your vaginal fluids and terminal fluids, which is nice.

32:51
Yeah, that's about it. So I'm hearing don't bring pineapple on pizza to an orgy or do

32:56
not not you can bring the pineapple leave the pizza.

Sara from dairy no dairy caught my cause gas like you never know I don't know you have to like be very aware I would stay away from cheeses we stay away from garlic we stay away from onions we stay away from anything that will have that impact chilies are good though like things that are natural projects are good

33:14
don't bring the cancer like refried beans

33:18
leave those at home once I had a lovely foursome with these three guys and beforehand I was really tired and I drank a coffee and a mountain dew bad idea. Don't do that.

I learned yes really late and I had to drive was

fine. It wasn't fine. It was not fine. It was definitely not fine.

33:42
Coffee and Mountain Dew so I assumed separate not together.

33:46
No it was like I had a coffee before I drove down and then halfway down I had stopped for gas and I was like I'll just get a mountain dew cuz I'm so tired and then it was just like this is horrible. This is the worst. I had a great night anyhow, but it was definitely not the best Food choice and then I called one of my exes and I was like, why did this happen? And he was like, cuz you're an idiot. And I was like, Okay, that makes sense.

34:08
I feel like eventually I should come out with a listicle of appropriate orgy foods. So pigs in a blanket. Yay, nay. Okay, so those are a pass. Yeah, you

34:17
can you can do I think the list is a great idea. People need to know people need to know they don't think about these things. They're like, Oh, we're gonna host an orgy at our house. Let's like do this and then everyone's bloated and they made too big of a meal and no one's a fuck yeah, you have to be very aware like you want to give them enough energy to get through the night and a couple hours but not too much energy, whether authority sick and tired.

34:36
And you also want to keep track of like finger food, the sugar Enos the oil of it, are you gonna have to wash your hands? Are you going to give someone a yeast infection if you are if you don't do it fully, like I prefer, like things you can get on toothpicks. That's great. So you just pick it out. You don't have to touch the food or one bite, you're done.

34:54
I do eventually want to do a cooking book or more of like a hosting book, like how to host a sex party. And I'd be like, you know, hosting For threesomes, foursomes and more Sims and it just be like, how to set up your home how to like do all the things that you want to create is a great title kind of like the guide to like hosting your own sex parties. Because it just there is a lot you learn within this phase but especially with this type of thing, like more people are interested in it. People ask me all the time, like, Oh, I want to host my own even members are regularly like hosting their own things. So yeah, I feel a guidebook would be really great.

35:24
How about BYOD bring your own toys that a thing that's encouraged.

35:27
Yeah, that's encouraged. That's definitely a thing. I mean, we have some, like, impact toys that are available because they're not insertion toys. So it's like, easy to have them here. But yeah, always bring your own toys. And I would say the one thing that we get asked for the most is like pegging devices, like everyone wants to peg or like every woman Oh, not everyone, but like a lot of women want to like have the strap ons and like run around the house and like play with other women. So bring your own pegging devices.

35:52
Okay, so I know that you know, you can't divulge stuff that happens within your club, obviously, but you know, you Have a history now of going to sex clubs and you know you to Allison, what are some of the craziest or most interesting or fascinating things that you guys have ever seen? I don't know or experience I've heard about a clown sex orgy at this point. So

36:12
yeah, there's definitely a context for it. I mean, I think it's a it's interesting like i've you know, had women who like walk in they're specifically looking for gangbanger like I'm here to have a gangbang. And it's like, okay, and you just like kind of see them, like just really approaching people and be like, you, you you and just like going for that type of thing. That sounds so nice. I went to another party where this guy was getting fisted by his girlfriend and she was like, had gloves on was missing him and he was holding a little mirror with his feet, so you can see it. So he was like, kind of positioning itself and like looking at what she's doing.

Yeah, it was it seemed very dangerous.

36:49
Wasn't there someone around who could hold it for him?

36:51
Right, you know, but they were like on the bed doing their thing.

36:54
This is why friends help.

36:56
It's like, hey, can someone hold this mirror while I get tested? That was interesting. When I do a big birthday party called All Saints Day. It's a sack religious celebration where everyone is required to dress religiously. So you get to see things like, you know, Rabbi, you know, fucking someone in a job, you get to see lots of Catholic people getting together and fucking you get to see like everyone in costume kind of, you know, living out a lot of good press feelings and being okay with it. So that one's always interesting. And we hope that you know, once a year, it's about 300 400 people. And yeah, it's just like a big birthday celebration, but also like this big massive performance type thing. So I think there I've definitely seen some of the most interesting things because everyone's in costume and you're like, Okay, this is crazy. But you have someone like dresses a Buddha like giving head to, you know, some dude in a Mormon outfit.

37:48
Of course, someone there is like, No, I have to represent all religions. So they put on a call lander on their top of the head, as opposed to farion

37:56
Yeah, I mean, we have, there's like witches as people dressed. Like Jedi eyes. It's an Jedi is an actual religion. So that's fine. Is it? Yeah, it's a tax free organization. You can be an official Jedi and believe in middle kondia and like the whole Jedi practice, and it's a tax free organization.

38:14
I've met the guy who runs the church of bacon. Yeah.

38:18
So I don't believe it's tax free. I think I was more of like, are you see nonprofit? I think

38:22
it might be a non profit. I know you could definitely get ordained as a minister to marry people.

38:27
Yeah, there's

38:28
there's also dude ism. That's a new one that came out. Yes. Off the dude from The Big Lebowski. God, I hate that movie. Yeah.

38:37
Hey, the porn parody of it was fantastic.

38:40
I hope it was better than the movie. Actually. Yes.

38:43
That's what I figured. Let's see what other crazy churches are there. I'm looking for church of cannabis. That's another one that's out there. There's that one evangelical church that believes everyone should they get married to the AK 47 are there the assault rifles, that's one and there's also one that does Let's look it up. There's someone actually dressed up like that for the last All Saints say they like wear these sashes and they take photos with their rifles and it's like a whole church like blessing because they brought their rifles to church. I think it's really I don't want to

39:13
have a pin that says NRA on it.

39:17
There's a lot of crazy religious things out there that just get away with a lot of bad things for the most part,

39:25
then Tom Cruise strolls in because he has to rep Scientology,

39:29
Tom Cruise's that the orgy

39:31
that's a downer. And then we've got like Eyes Wide Shut happening, and it's so bad times for everyone.

39:37
So as far as the themes, I love the concept of themed orgies. And I was trying to think to myself, if I had an orgy, how would I want to themed and I don't know, I mean, I tried coming up with some but I don't know if I could ever run them by me. Maybe Daniel, you can like for example, you can have a group of people having sex in an elevator called the up and coming club. That's hard.

40:01
They only get the amount of time they have to go up and down the elevator to get their stuff go

40:05
and help her in a tall building or a very short one depending on their company.

40:10
Let's see what the Empire State buildings up to if we can rent the elevator for a night.

40:13
I'm sure you could probably do like even a Model UN themed one where you have sex from people from every different country.

40:18
I feel we're already doing that we have really good representation of people. Like it's really not everyone's

40:23
from Djibouti and Bhutan. I don't understand.

40:25
You and base one will be fun. Like we just need one for each country. The first person who rsvps for Russia gets it and the first person RSVP is for this country gets in and like just keep going down the list.

40:37
That'd be really cool. That would

40:39
be really interesting is like if you're stealing, like we're getting maybe make make that happen.

40:45
Oh, you need to do one that's all breakfast themed.

40:48
We do that Saturday morning cartoons. Oh,

40:50
it's a missed opportunity to call it The Breakfast Club.

40:52
That's good too. We used to do one where it's more of like a after hours thing. So it was like Sunday morning and we'd play like Saturday morning cartoons. And have like a whole thing of like cereal of like multiple, like every single you can imagine and like all this breakfast stuff and it would just be like chill and fuck and watch cartoons.

We don't do that anymore

41:14
Have you guys seen by the way like the Kellogg's space in Union Square?

41:18
Yeah What is I don't

41:20
know. So Kellogg's cereal company rents out this massive space which you know i would love if you could just rent it out for an orgy because it would be perfect if you continue doing those specifically themed cereal and you know cartoon ones if you ever wanted I know but I'm just saying if you want work because they have like a huge two cans, Sam in the background. They already have all the cereals there. They even have these chairs that are swings so sex swings are already

41:48
there. That's perfect. I mean, yeah, we'll contact Kellogg's I think they've you make this work.

41:53
What else are they doing?

41:56
Some cross promotion

41:57
market to the next generation.

41:59
You Do you want to get those millennials back? Remind them that they can eat cereal after sex?

42:04
What else is Count chocula? Therefore a little sucky.

42:08
Not so bad,

42:10
like, blueberry balls.

42:14
I know like it's not gonna get any better. No, no.

42:18
I like I still want to know like this moment or set of moments that made you realize that what was happening within your family's religion was not for you, and how you got over that and how long that took? I think it was Jurassic Park.

42:33
Like once I saw Jurassic Park and realize that evolution is probably real, it kind of made everything else fall apart. For a long time I was taught that dinosaur bones and other evidence of prehistoric life was just the devil putting things in the world to confuse us and to get us away from God. But after seeing Jurassic Park, I mean, I saw that T Rex, I think was real.

It was all downhill from there. Really.

pretty great. I love it dinosaurs doesn't really work with a hyper Christian religion.

43:06
Have you considered ever doing a dinosaur themed sex party?

43:11
See, this is Alice This is what I'm talking about Jurassic World triple X has been out now for like a month and a half and I was like, should we watch it? Or are we watching a porn and you were like, no, but we could have watched Jurassic World triple x for this.

Yeah, and they're in full dyno costume.

When I asked you if we were watching anything that sounds like

43:32
is there a peg us or acid? Because I haven't watched it because you were like, We don't need a porn for this one. Okay, fine. Then we'll find someone to review Jurassic Park themed porn because I need to know if there's a mega sore ass and it's I Oh, that's my favorite dinosaur.

43:51
Perfect, perfect.

43:53
A double directs.

43:54
You should really just pull up a screen grab from Jurassic World triple x, just like your company. Pull it up just look

44:01
okay Jurassic World parody Okay, that asks What if the dinosaurs were porn stars? Oh no. Look I'm only interested if there's a tricera Coxon.

44:15
Just get like a paleontologist and have them watch it

44:18
when we could just talk about it. This is amazing if you

44:21
are a paleontologist and want to review dinosaur porn With us to discuss how accurate or inaccurate it is info to here also Mike calm Alternatively if you know a paleontologist and you don't like them very much, email us or contact information. Oh and if you happen to know Jeff Goldblum or you are Jeff goldbloom we want to review this porn with you so email us info to my talk comm I would be okay to who knows Jeff gold blooms assistant Jeff gold blooms assistant if you are in Daniel st sex club.

44:54
We put this all out to you. We need you

to watch Alexa, tell us

45:01
that'd be great. Jeff Goldblum reviews Jurassic World triple except for your quality stuff.

45:05
You know, he performs in a like a jazz club in LA at least once a month. My friends go get a hit show. Just a couple weeks,

45:13
we'll be talking about the recto Saurus. Yeah, I can't stop. I'm sorry.

45:18
Okay. It's okay. You're helping me sort out my Christmas card problem. So it's this year is like, what do I do with my Christmas card a couple years ago, it was like Santa Claus, but a dick here before that it was the manger scene, but everyone was decks and this year I like I want to paint it, scan it in and then mail it out. But I don't have my full concept yet.

45:39
I'm just now picturing tons of people wearing that classic T rex costume. But with a deck hanging out like an inflatable deck

45:47
or like a real deck or what do we think a real toe?

But would it be attached to the person wearing it or would they have gotten it from something else?

45:56
It could be a cutout? Could it be like one of the bad dragon dildos Yeah,

46:02
you know, it'd be great if we could set up the the AIG one and the one that inserts the AIG but have it become like an automatic thing and you could run around in that shooting those jello eggs at people and just reloading from inside the dinosaur costume. That would be a great Easter thing for you to do Daniel, like put the egg toss but that

46:21
I think dinosaurs for Easter Make sense? Like it actually works 100% sense I used to go to a party that was just for Easter. It was like the bad bunnies club or something else like that. And it's basically you'd go through this obstacle course of things you'd have to do so one was like they'd paint your butt with easter eggs. One was like this really badass like Easter Bunny Dom who would like put you through things and like basically bunny training, you go through bunny training with like a tail on your back. And they put you in cages initially and like load you up and they're like, come up bunnies and like you go around through all these activities. It's pretty fun. You have to get all six stamps of all the activities that they do

46:59
you know I feel like easter egg hunts are kind of a newer thing that only happened like the last 1520 years I don't know or maybe I just never did it was during it when I was little. Okay, I never did it. Where'd you grow up though? New Jersey. There you go seems like a place I'm happy sir x.

47:13
No New Jersey does not get fun things.

47:18
No, we get Italian. Yeah, exactly. That's what I meant.

47:22
Sort of finding eggs. It was always finding pizza. I never understood it. It's very weird. So Daniel, where can our listeners find you find more of you or your sex club?

47:32
It's NSFW calm. That's the main site for everything. Pro sex is I'm pro sex work which is the bigger initiative that we have and that we're pushing forward now. And then I'm just Daniel st on everything I say ymt.

47:47
And Alison, thank you for joining us our guest host today. where can our listeners find you under their bed? drooling,

47:54
really erotic drooling under their bed when I'm not there, you Find me at that. mcknight.com that's midnight with ck not just to see and on Twitter occasionally also at that McKnight Well, I hope to find you under my bed drooling. Looking at you.

48:13
It's an open invitation. Oh,

48:15
is there room under there? How much room

48:19
many other people are under their hours?

48:22
What is going on? It's always Jeff Goldblum and Richard Edinburg. And what about Joseph Gordon Levitt? Fair enough? I'm under that bed.

48:31
Five minutes.

48:33
Sam Neil can be pushed to the side. No, no, I was just I just watched in the mouth of madness. He's got to stay right there.

48:39
Gonna be like one of the better afternoons

48:42
and you guys can find me Alice at rational blonde on Twitter. But you guys can always find us next week. By the way, leave us a comment or review on Twitter, iTunes, wherever you guys are listening to this and tell all your friends because you're not they need this information.

49:00
true friends, these are fuck tell them.

49:03
Quick, quick edition Daniel, where can people apply to join? NSFW

49:09
just for the website? It's like ns dash f w calm for slash join. And you can also like review. We have a bunch of our reviews and you know, people's stories and stuff I haven't shared and just like an understanding of like how big it is, in a sense, like it gets you through, and then the applications are right there.

49:25
Okay. And if you are someone who reviews his sex club, please review mostly the themes. That's what I want to know. I'm holding you up to the United Nations theme though.

49:35
I mean, I've been really thinking about the dinosaur thing for Easter. That's hilarious. Like that

49:40
would be really cool. And what's great is I think they give you an egg mold, which means you can get some plastic mosquitoes and do half the mold put the plastic mosquito and and do the other half the mold. That's pretty cool.

49:52
It's like, it's just like,

49:53
Yeah, but it's eggs and you just go around, you could fire I don't know. I love event planning. This is the thing. I do. That would be amazing.

50:02
If you're an event planner who needs a career change event plans, sex clubs, and

50:08
that's so hard. All right.

50:10
Well, guys, thanks for joining us this week. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. Bye bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai