Nov 13, 2019
A group of intergalactic criminals must pull together to stop Bonan from getting the Infinity Bone! Comedian Bri Pruett (@bripruett) joins Alice Vaughn (@RationalBlonde) & Natalia Reagan (@natalia13reagan) for unnecessary movie facts, asking who the word "gnard" is for, Pauly Shore, prison cavity searches, wooden dildos, and much more.
Unknown Speaker 0:02
This is two girls one Mike,
Unknown Speaker 0:04
the show that talks about the holes and plotholes of your favorite
porn.
Alice Vaughn 0:09
Welcome to Two girls one Mike the podcast or if you say these three
words, eight letters were yours. Natalia, do you know what phrase
that is? Oh god, no, I love you know,
Natalia Reagan 0:20
it's I am Groot. Mm hmm. I was a big fan of I am growing. That was
a highlight of the film for me personally,
Alice Vaughn 0:29
if you confidently walk into a room and say I am crying, I guess
I'm also yours.
Natalia Reagan 0:34
It kind of is my mating call. These days. It's not necessarily
picking up the right shooters, but you know, sometimes you got to
do it. You got to do
Alice Vaughn 0:41
guys, I'm Alice Vaughn, your co host, and of course because events
on medical leave, we have Natalia Regan filling in now we have
Natalia Reagan filling in one day, I'm gonna get your name
right
Natalia Reagan 0:52
Just think of a ray gun. Just think of a gun that shoots raise, or
Ronald, but I hate to bring him up into this.
Alice Vaughn 0:59
Right there. Any other Reagan's
Natalia Reagan 1:01
my family. But
unfortunately Ronnie and his son and Nancy and Nancy didn't do much for the whole her whole war on drugs, man. And pornography by the way.
Alice Vaughn 1:13
Look, I know you're probably not related, but if you could get
Nancy Reagan so we could discuss the war on drugs. Oh, do not show
she
Natalia Reagan 1:21
I should know this. I guess she is so I've Oh, wow, maybe, huh.
Well, we'll see. I don't know. I can use that Reagan to my
advantage. Some leverage. Somewhere back in court County. Some
there's some sort of linkage. You never know. related to
Alice Vaughn 1:34
Bri. Do you have any interesting people you're related to?
Bre Pruitt 1:37
Actually my grandmother survived Pearl Harbor. Oh, very
exciting.
Alice Vaughn 1:41
Probably not at the time.
Bre Pruitt 1:42
Yeah. You know, when you just survive something. You're not famous
afterward? Yeah. Was
Natalia Reagan 1:48
she in so I take it she was in Hawaii. Was she working with
military or?
Bre Pruitt 1:52
No, she lives there.
Natalia Reagan 1:54
She does. Okay, she wants something.
Bre Pruitt 1:58
Yeah, that's something so keep Dream and everybody
Alice Vaughn 2:01
so on the show we have Brie Pruitt to help review nardin's of the
galaxy with us
Natalia Reagan 2:07
a real classic honestly
Alice Vaughn 2:08
pretty How did you feel about reviewing porn? Have you reviewed
porn before? I have
Bre Pruitt 2:12
reviewed porn before you guys had my friend Alex Cohn on the show
previously and outspoken hosts a podcast called read it and weep
and he made me watch made me That sounds very
Unknown Speaker 2:23
funny too.
Bre Pruitt 2:25
So let's revise that he is he is a white man. So let's change that.
He's one of the good ones. So let's let's change that revise that I
elected to join his podcast to review. I believe it was a Star Wars
porn, which I'm sure you all have seen because that's your bread
and butter, so to speak. It was fine when I am watching porn that I
like. I have extremely specific critiques. But I think that whoever
nardin's the galaxy is for it is not me. And my criticism like it
hasn't Nothing to do with my sexuality. So that is very easy to
watch. And because there's no sexuality to me at all about it. I
mean is that if you guys feel that way, there's no danger of me
being turned on when watching this movie at all at all.
Natalia Reagan 3:14
That's me know, I feel the same with a lot of porn parodies the
Star Wars one I remember it. I don't know if you saw the one with a
very scintillating Chewbacca Wookie threesome. There's got to be
more than just one.
Bre Pruitt 3:28
I guess what I will say I'm a comedian by my job, and I am a sexual
human. With that, like comedy and sexuality. There's no overlap for
me at all. Do you all feel the same way? You've watched a lot of
porn parody.
Alice Vaughn 3:43
It's very rare nowadays when I'm watching a porn parody that I get
turned on just because for me, it's become my job. So I just
compartmentalize what I'm actually into, into a very different
segment that doesn't involve Normally bits happening before and or
during the boning. Who is this for the fans of what have sex or a
galaxy? Guardians of the Galaxy? Okay. Okay, that's what the
parodies are normally made for. It's for the super fans. I see.
Natalia Reagan 4:22
I want to take it to the next level.
Bre Pruitt 4:24
Okay, so I have a lot of friends who are in the erotic fan fiction
universe. This is sort of erotic fan fiction come to life in a lot
of ways.
Alice Vaughn 4:32
I hadn't considered it that way. But yes,
Bre Pruitt 4:34
I have a friend who's very into supernatural. Have you ever heard
of supernatural
Unknown Speaker 4:39
the TV show?
Natalia Reagan 4:40
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I have a friend that I believe is on that
show.
Bre Pruitt 4:44
Really? Okay. So yeah, you may know that they are so into fan
culture on that show that they have cons all the time, like every
other weekend that the cast comes and talks to people and the
erotic fan fiction is like very celebrated in this community. To
be, and I just didn't like, I guess, nerds gotta come to but, you
know, I, the the comedy of it all it takes me right out of it.
Natalia Reagan 5:12
I'm a big laughter during sex I like laughing Yeah, I mean, well,
you know, I don't want it to be like the Benny Hill show but I
definitely wanted
you know, like it's like split the diff between you know, Fabio and cuz I used to write and I've talked about this on the show before when I was a little girl I was very into skinemax and softcore porn as a child like I was just Okay, so I started writing and my mom had the clan of the cave Bear Bear book. So I started writing my own and my mom busted me multiple times. And the big threat was I'm going to tell your father and years later I told my dad and he's like, That's hilarious. Like he loved it. But I hadn't been Of course at that age, he probably would have flipped out but, you know, I was always obsessed and I'd like adding some humor to it like, you know, I would write them for my Friends so friend, like, you know, someone will get a crush on somebody I was like, and they liked horseback riding so I did have a whole series of them having sex whilst riding a horse, you know, like real ridiculous stuff, but I do agree like, for instance and I know we're gonna jump in the film in a minute but like when growing got shrunk to a small growing and I believe is it April Amelie? Who's playing
Alice Vaughn 6:22
rocket? raccoon? Yeah,
Natalia Reagan 6:24
I met her once at Burning Man, like a delightful human. I mostly
recognized her boobs.
Unknown Speaker 6:31
Which are
Alice Vaughn 6:32
fantastic. That says something if you could recognize an individual
specifically by their boobs. Yes.
Bre Pruitt 6:38
It says something about both about the individual and you. I mean,
I think
Natalia Reagan 6:42
yeah, it kind of it kind of does not gonna lie. I once actually was
in a supermarket. I heard behind me I'd recognize that as anywhere
and I turned around it was my friend and he recognized me from
because I was wearing like bike shorts or something. Yes, I was
like, that's not thank goodness. I was alone. I wasn't with like,
you know, a partner. Somebody yeah April Neal plays you know rocket
the character when she starts having her way with the new and
improved shrug monitor has improved. He's so small, but I was kinda
like, what, what, what, why is this hat? What? How did this okay
and then there was nothing sexy about it I couldn't really get into
it and sometimes I do watch the actual porn scenes when I do this
because you know, we really focus on the plot because that's so
important. But that one I had a hard time getting excited about,
you know, and I was really afraid I wanted a reference to that
one.
Alice Vaughn 7:32
By the way, it's interesting that you mentioned supernatural
because I a few years ago for Halloween when I said Leviathan and
do you guys know what a Leviathan from supernaturalists No, no.
Okay, this is a fun one. So it's basically a face where the entire
ring of where my face would be. It's just teeth.
Natalia Reagan 7:51
Oh, I think oh, or I think I've seen you do that. That's Yeah, that
was what that was.
Alice Vaughn 7:56
So can you let me know where these erotic Fan things are going on
because that in a porn I'm saying and are fanfiction then again,
what is called vid vagina? dentata?
Yeah, it's kind of taken to an extreme
Natalia Reagan 8:12
high, not all the dentata that's a face you would not like to form
a cape with or would I don't know what your kinks are. I'm not
gonna judge. That's, that's up to you.
Alice Vaughn 8:22
Okay, so, Bree, how do we describe this film for if someone's never
seen Guardians of the Galaxy, the film?
Bre Pruitt 8:29
Yeah, I think you know, it's a comic book film. It's an entourage.
It's a band of misfits. The porn parody did a great job of setting
up which is the first act of the the Guardians of the Galaxy, which
is all the Misfits go to jail together, and then they rely on each
other to break out of jail together. And that's how they figure out
Oh, we're all well matched. And we're a good band and we should be
Guardians of the Galaxy. I think the film success is all about
Chris Pratt. I think it's all about the charm of its lead. I think
Chris Pratt, is he I unfortunately have some problematic Christian
politics but besides that he's kind of our Tom Hanks Tom Cruise
right now, millennial wise,
Alice Vaughn 9:07
you know, they almost didn't choose Chris Pratt, truly Tell me
about that. Apparently he was a shoo in, but the person who was
closest to taking the role, you guys know Glenn Howerton, the guy
who plays Dennis Reynolds from It's Always Sunny.
Unknown Speaker 9:19
Damn, that would have been a totally different movie. Oh, yeah, I
know.
Alice Vaughn 9:23
How do we turn a five star man? It's a Star Lord.
Bre Pruitt 9:27
Glenn Howerton, it would have been like more funny and like caustic
and he would have been less likable is the thing Peter Quill is
like a very likeable hero character, you know cuz his mom died and
that's his whole deal.
Natalia Reagan 9:43
sympathetic character.
Alice Vaughn 9:44
Instead, we would have had the implication in space. The
implication sorry, is
Bre Pruitt 9:49
that I get it. Yeah, it's I'm sorry. I know. That's a pretty deep
well, so for the outro.
Alice Vaughn 9:56
So yeah, maybe we should start from the very beginning of this. So
by the way, it's not a surprise that they, you know, someone had
parody and someone in this case was would rock it ended up
parenting Guardians of the Galaxy. Because I think when it was
launched, it was the first non Avengers Marvel film to be developed
by Walt Disney and it. I think domestically gross like $300
million. Really? So
Natalia Reagan 10:22
a lot. Yeah, I did not see it in the show in theaters, though, but
that doesn't say much because I am kind of lame these days, and I
watch everything on planes, which is not the way they should be
viewed. This is
Bre Pruitt 10:33
what I always watch on a plane. This is a movie I watch over and
over again. I really like it a lot. Okay, I'm a basketball fan. You
know, when you put like a really good player in England, kind of a
less appreciated role. That's what you got with Guardians of the
Galaxy. You got Bradley Cooper coming in clutch plan, a weird
director role. You know, you got Vin Diesel as Groot that's maybe
he just says grit the whole time. But there's a lot behind there.
You know, it's a lot of subtext. It's a lot of soul. A lot of soul
in those It's it's a dope series I enjoyed even the like dumb, you
know, Flintstones Jetsons crossover in the New Avengers movie where
quill meets Tony Stark and I love it. I love the mashups of the of
the whole Marvel Universe. I mean, I'm like, It pains me to say
because as I am like, I add a film degree I like independent and
foreign films. And also I will watch any of these fucking Marvel
films that they make. Because, you know, we gotta we gotta have a
good time in these in these trying times.
Natalia Reagan 11:28
Oh, absolutely. There's a little bit I mean, I feel like during
most four times, that's usually when the movies sort of explode and
have the best years is because people need that escapism and I
wouldn't obviously liken this to World War Two, but it's our
version.
Bre Pruitt 11:44
With what we've got right now it is it's about as bad as we've
experienced are certain terms of just what the fuck every day, a
friend of mine was doing, like testing for like figuring out what
kids like to watch on TV these days. And this kid at this test was
like, Oh, I watched the show. You've probably never heard of it.
It's called Brady Bunch. And I love the Brady Bunch was
specifically made to distract people from the Vietnam War. You
know, all that shitty television of the 60s and 70s was just to
like, keep everybody placated. And that's really what we're I think
we're getting back to I mean, the fall lineup is good though. I
will say I'm watching a lot of TV right now like just to see what
they're making for you know, to unite A divided America. And it's
very interesting. Wow, we got off topic. What
Natalia Reagan 12:29
were we talking about? grind? Yeah, it's okay. This is a show about
tangent. Is there a Brady Bunch porn parody? Alice? Yes. I found
out No.
Alice Vaughn 12:40
Aha, we're so gonna watch it. We're so gonna watch it too.
Bre Pruitt 12:45
I mean, we all know that Florence Henderson was a dirty birds. My
dad has told me stories they should make the porn parody should
just be behind the scenes right cameras off
Natalia Reagan 12:55
REG and mom and oh my god. Oh my underwear. Oh, Purple Jesus,
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. And then the music starts playing and in
January Oh God.
Bre Pruitt 13:06
Oh, wow. They just sold that house. Really? You know who's gonna
buy the house? Okay, I'm about to blow your minds. I can't believe
I can pull this fact out Gary
Unknown Speaker 13:15
Busey. That's, you
Bre Pruitt 13:16
know what close. Lance Bass was about to buy that house.
And he was gonna buy it and like, like, remodel it into something and use the profits for something else, but it's something fell through with the deal. Listen, it's crazy that I know this kind of stuff. But it's only because I write monologue jokes for TV shows sometimes. Awesome. Yeah, but you know, maybe somebody could persuade Lance to shoot something there you know, I'm saying
Natalia Reagan 13:40
the new insane you know, reboot video. They can totally do a Brady
Bunch video montage, you know?
Bre Pruitt 13:47
Oh, sure. I mean, I don't think in sync is getting together for
that. But I was thinking, I don't know anything. They could film
anything there.
Natalia Reagan 13:52
You could reboot the whole Well, I don't I'm not up for reboots
anymore. I'm so tired of them. But that would be a reboot that
would probably do well.
Bre Pruitt 13:59
Oh, great. Brady Bunch reboot. Kids are in jail.
Alice Vaughn 14:02
Some of them are drug addicts. I know it's mostly Marsha's
definitely on drugs, she's definitely on something just doctor
pills. Yeah. pills, or J. So nardin's Nardi, and so I mean,
technically all the nardin's don't have nards. So I mean, I guess
that you know, we could go with Guardians of the Galaxy, I
Natalia Reagan 14:22
mean, nords or nads are short for gonads which males and females
both I'm a scientist, so males and females actually both have
gonads, but ours are just on the inside. Right? I stand corrected.
Sorry. Sorry.
Unknown Speaker 14:35
No, we care about science. We care about science here. So as
Bre Pruitt 14:39
far as titles go, I give this about a six out of 10 y'all agree?
You know, Alice, you're the expert. What do you think?
Alice Vaughn 14:50
No, I think it's good. You know, I mean, they did make fun of the
title in the part two, which I decided to watch for shits and
giggles where they said that the other options Guardians of the
Galaxy as well as guardians of the galaxy, except spelled with
triple x.
Unknown Speaker 15:05
So yeah, you know what,
Alice Vaughn 15:06
I definitely prefer this as opposed to nine times out of 10, where
we get Guardians of the Galaxy, and then it's triple x, or not the
Guardians of the Galaxy, which let's be honest, it's just for SEO
purposes, not your
Unknown Speaker 15:20
mother's
Natalia Reagan 15:23
or your mother's Guardians of the Galaxy, depending on who your mom
is,
Bre Pruitt 15:27
I think nardin's of the galaxy really sets you up for what you're
going to see. You know, I just figured it out. The film has been
made for guys who use the word nards. That's not me. That's not
anybody I know. You know, but that's who it's for for sure. And so
great naming would rock it. Yeah.
Alice Vaughn 15:46
I mean, that's a very slim audience to I don't know anyone who uses
nards. But then again, I we are coastal elitists, I assume so you
know, you being in LA and yeah, I
Bre Pruitt 15:56
think nards is a very California word actually. And I think It was
heavy in the 90s. And it's faded in use, but I think it was like it
was peak usage like in the Pauly Shore, row universe. Those guys
are in their mid 40s now, and that's who this film is for. It's The
Big Lebowski is of the 90s who used the word nards in mixed company
written nerds. Yeah, they got fired from their job at a bank for
using the word nards because they thought it was a word that was
okay to use, but then somebody was really, actually Nathan it's
2019 you can't tell somebody to open a checking account because
it's nards sick that's not nerd sick but I don't know how to use
the word obviously it's not for me it's not my word. Not going to
appropriate that from them. Yeah, no, I feel
Natalia Reagan 16:50
like I mean, should we try to resurrect it? Is it is this time is
this show? Should we go let them help please? Okay,
Alice Vaughn 16:56
let 40 year olds have something. Let them hey, they're not That's
easy Mac.
Bre Pruitt 17:01
No, no, not you. I mean, these guys that didn't grow up, you know,
that are still in their culture from the 90s from the early 90s Oh
my god.
Natalia Reagan 17:11
Yeah. Pauly Shore was a thing, Polly. I still don't understand why
Pauly Shore was a thing
Bre Pruitt 17:17
because his mom was famous and paid for all that shit.
Natalia Reagan 17:19
Yeah. Who's this mom? His mom runs the Comedy Store. Oh,
Bre Pruitt 17:23
yeah. She's a really important figure in the stand up scene and
like the 70s. And he was kind of, but he did hit on something,
right. I mean, it was a popular moment for him. The weasel. weasel?
His mom, I think recently passed away too. But yeah, she was
responsible for a lot of stand ups that came up in the 70s 80s 90s
including her son. You know what I for sure bet Pauly Shore has
watched Guardians of the Galaxy. I've never been more sure of
anything in my life.
Natalia Reagan 17:51
I think that's a pretty fair bet. I wonder if there's
a porn parody of an unseen Oh man. That's a great idea.
Alice Vaughn 17:57
Pauly Shore if you're listening to this, email us info to girls one
Mike
Bre Pruitt 18:00
Paul, if you're a fan of the podcast get in touch. You should just
be on
Natalia Reagan 18:05
the podcast.
Bre Pruitt 18:07
Yeah. Has he done any porn? It seems like he has right.
Natalia Reagan 18:11
I feel like he would it was screeched that did the porn right it
was it was Dustin diamond. Oh god What do
Bre Pruitt 18:17
you think would be more upset that you confuse to them Dustin
diamond or Pauly Shore? I think Pauly Shore. I think you'd be
shocked to be confused with Pauly Shore.
Natalia Reagan 18:27
He would be his nerves would be in knots. Yeah, there's a couple of
those like be level actors that turned anyone into porn for a
little bit. Yeah. And then came back out. I don't know if anyone
went back to mainstream stuff. But Justin diamonds, if you're
listening to the show,
Alice Vaughn 18:45
give a holler. What else are you doing?
Unknown Speaker 18:47
Yeah, right.
Alice Vaughn 18:49
So we've kind of started off with it's very Indiana Jones like
where you have StarLord or star load in this instance, trying to
swap what looks like Solid dildo surrounded by laser beams with
something of equal weight, which, I mean Haven't we all been there
i guess i mean
Bre Pruitt 19:07
if I hadn't done I mean the feedback loop of Indiana Jones to
Guardians of the Galaxy to narnians of the galaxy like what a
journey you know, so many layers it's a roller coaster. A lot of
reading to do.
Natalia Reagan 19:23
I definitely appreciated rocket being a female because Allison I
when we first decided that we were going to when she told me that
she wanted to do nardin's of the galaxy, my first thought being a
scientist is most mammals have a baculum, which is a penis bone.
The penis bone of the raccoon, the baculum is often called a
mountain man toothpick because they're pretty thin. And they can
even whittle them down and using like a toothpick. Yeah, so I
remember thinking, Oh, man, are they going to acknowledge or make
reference to you generally they don't have that much science, but
maybe they would to the rockets, you know? baculum but they didn't
And it's a female with spectacular breasts, as we already noted,
and yeah, so that was a way to avoid that conflict.
Alice Vaughn 20:07
So what's funny is now that you mentioned raccoon penises I just
remembered that past guest of the show Steve gadlin that I will
draw a cat for you guy from Shark Tank. He at one point was trying
to give away 1000 raccoon penises.
Unknown Speaker 20:22
Like you do. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what?
Alice Vaughn 20:28
He was giving away 1000 raccoon penises?
Natalia Reagan 20:31
What? Why I've been gifted them before he found a supplier.
Bre Pruitt 20:36
This is like where the MC rib comes from right there. Just the
market is rich with rakuen penises.
Alice Vaughn 20:42
It's like chicken feed. I mean, Americans don't eat chicken feet so
you have to dispose them somewhere. So I guess rack.
Unknown Speaker 20:49
I wear mine around my neck.
Natalia Reagan 20:53
a necklace of chicken feet. It's delightful.
Bre Pruitt 20:56
I just want to back up a little bit and saying Italia. What a weird
The world you live in that you heard you're gonna watch Guardians
of the Galaxy porn and you thought, huh, what if they're gonna
acknowledge the raccoon penis bone? Yes, this is this is how my
head works. It's awesome. I mean, it's awesome that you know that
it's awesome that you, you know, that's a thought that you get to
have organically, you know, that would take me 5060 years to come
up with a thought like that. But Wow, amazing.
Natalia Reagan 21:26
Well, now, through this teaching experience we've had, I'm also a
professor, that's another job that I have. I know, very strange
life. But now with sharing this knowledge, you will have that
thought in the future. Oh, because certainly most mammals most I
mean, I even thought when we watched the Star Wars one, I thought,
well, Chewbacca has a sex scene and he's a Wookie. Is he more like
a great ape? I hosted a Bigfoot show years ago. So I also got asked
a lot of questions. What would Bigfoot swing look like? And I
always said, Well, he's like a human humans have the largest penis
to body size of the primates, of the non human body. primates,
gorillas if you think you know, a Wookie is more like a gorilla or
an orangutan, they have very small dogs. So King Kong is no king
Dong. They actually are on like a baby carrot. They're like an inch
and a half average size penis for a 400 pound gorilla. So these are
the things that cross my mind. Sometimes when I'm laying awake at
night, thinking about the next porn parody I'm gonna watch
Bre Pruitt 22:25
so going back to the porn, and just wanted to say that I think
Chewbacca has a really small penis, or he has a really large penis
because he's kind of dumb, right? And so the blood isn't reaching
his brain. Oh, it's all down there. Okay, that's what's happening
or he is really smart. And then that means small Dong. Okay. You
may continue with your podcast hosting Alice.
Unknown Speaker 22:48
No, I like this. We appreciate this. No, no,
Natalia Reagan 22:51
that these theories, you know, we need to discuss these otherwise,
well, who else is going to
Bre Pruitt 22:56
happy to add to the rich texture of the podcast? So yes,
Natalia Reagan 22:59
Guardians of the
Alice Vaughn 23:00
Galaxy. So we have rocket recruit, as you mentioned, it's a female
who has well, quite a few. I mean, 552 counts of public leg
humping. And she's four months behind on a rabies vaccination. And
to which then I was wondering, how often do you have to get rabies
vaccinations for your pets? Currently depends could be like a
booster shot once a year or two. There's others that are good, like
every three years. But by the way, if you ever get rabies, I was
reading about that. It's horrific. It's really crazy. Yeah, central
nervous system shuts down, you go into a coma, you die in seven
days. It is the least exciting version of the Reinke.
Natalia Reagan 23:40
Oh, no, I I tried to stay away from rabid animals. It's usually
just how I do you know, see foaming at the mouth. awake during
weird hours of the day. I remember seeing raccoons I went to
Graceland a few months back and, you know, Raccoons are generally
nocturnal and you won't see them too often. During the day as much
as you know, foraging around at night and I saw that this one
raccoon just running around during the day and I'm like, ooh, oh
no, I'm gonna stay I'm gonna stay clear of that guy because I don't
know, you know, not that I'm generally going up to strange raccoons
during the evening as well, but I get curious trash pandas excite
me.
Alice Vaughn 24:20
We also have Drax the Destroyer in this is cracks to destroyer. And
he's extremely angered because they discontinued his favorite loop.
So he's been on a sexual rampage and vengeance. gam hora who has
two dozen counts of sexual rampage daughter earthiness. And I did
appreciate you know, the sounds like build cars and then just
stopped.
Bre Pruitt 24:45
So yeah, well, I thought that was really weird actually. Like we're
gonna make a joke about this thing. It's not a so we're going to
pretend like he like one character is like not allowing the other
character maybe to make the jump but the films do made the job.
Yeah, I don't know guys. What's the point?
Alice Vaughn 25:04
Yeah, you're right maybe Yeah, it was a thing. I mean,
Natalia Reagan 25:07
it's already a porn so I mean really is saying the next syllable
that bad Is it really you know is it really crossing the line after
we just watched a raccoon pleasure herself with a shrunk and
growing?
Alice Vaughn 25:20
Well we'll get to that then we have grown actually growing is the
personal sex aid slash muscle to rocket recruit and the universe's
largest dildo and I'm a little disappointed myself because I didn't
Google what is the world's largest dildo? So I'm sorry, we
Natalia Reagan 25:38
believe that is President Trump.
Bre Pruitt 25:40
I have to say that the problem with that is kind of subjective
about what a dildo is. You know what I mean? Like a dildo is pretty
much anything. Yeah. You know, like you could call the Washington
Monument, the largest dildo you could call the Statue of Liberty. I
mean, you wouldn't because the right wing media would run with
That, but you could we were making comments about
Natalia Reagan 26:03
the size of your microphone earlier that could be
Bre Pruitt 26:07
Yeah, I can't say stuff like that. I'm a senator. Did you guys know
that? So you're gonna really need to redact a lot of stuff out of
this podcast. There's gonna be like the transcript will just be a
black page.
I told you that ahead of time. I am a senator, I'm a sitting senator.
Natalia Reagan 26:23
You I mean, you are technically sitting so yeah, yes. No, that's a
down senator. This is true.
Alice Vaughn 26:30
I mean, I'm sure they'll let us run all of these words as Facebook
ad Yeah. You know, you know, your neck for your reelection
campaign, but
Unknown Speaker 26:38
yeah, just fine.
Alice Vaughn 26:41
And then we had pecker quill, who we find out he sneaks into
infinity bone into the prison, which what I did appreciate though
is when they did the lineup seem they did it as accurately to the
movie as possible, meaning everybody was in their own places. You
had Star Lord Gamora rocket etc in the exact lineup, which was
really cool. We're not cool, just accurate.
Bre Pruitt 27:08
Visually accurate visually. The thing is, the film directors know
what they're doing, you know, they know what a dynamic visual
picture looks like, you know, and it looks like all the characters
have different heights standing in the perfect places. That's what
a tableau is, you know, and if Todd Phillips or whoever the fuck
directed that movie who directed the movie Alice? James Gunn Great.
So James Gunn put his directorial eye on the lineup. You know if
you are James, you know, pecker whoever. The of the remake? Yeah,
you should start just making a shot by shot. I think that's the
smart way to go. Don't reinvent the wheel. You know what I mean?
Yeah, well,
Alice Vaughn 27:47
the Star Wars one was we talked about the accuracy of that
particular film. I mean, they really they didn't even change the
names for the most part, right. They kept them pretty which I
thought There was some missed opportunities for some horrible puns.
The Star Wars one was so shot by shot that they even skimmed over
potential sexual puns just so they could recreate Star Wars was
intense so going back to the porn what was interesting was pecker
quill snuck the Infinity bone interest, but and then I started
having questions about how much you could fit into your bot.
Especially in prison. Have you guys ever thought about this?
Natalia Reagan 28:30
How much I've thought about a lot of weird things but
Bre Pruitt 28:33
I always assumed like an infinite amount of stuff can fit in here
but I just didn't really think about it.
Alice Vaughn 28:37
I started kind of going on like a rabbit hole of Justin fruit but
information after you know that joke about that he snuck it in
through his butt. Because I thought to myself, I'm like, Okay,
well, why can't they just do screenings like they do at the TSA to
whether or not you know, someone has something in there but but
then I realized apparently that a lot of these places I don't have
the budget for things like that. Also, I mean, the rectum is you
know, at the end of the large intestine the area just after colon
and before the sphincter, and I was trying to figure out okay, well
how big is it and some medical sites will say that the rectum is
like six to eight inches long and 2.5 inches at its widest point.
But it seems really misleading because I was reading because the
tissue itself is super stretchy. So what I'm saying is I was
reading about Dr. horror stories about what people were pulling out
of their butts.
Bre Pruitt 29:30
Yeah, that's what I like. That's my understand. Yeah, is like
pretty much anything can go in there. And you know, I've seen like,
at least two dicks on screen before you know, so. Yeah, it's
stretchy like the vagina
Unknown Speaker 29:42
like elastic pants. Whoo.
Alice Vaughn 29:44
Now, if you are a butt stretcher, fair warning with stretching the
signals to deprecate will become weaker and could cause accidents
and leakage so I guess Don't be too intense or just be safe or
smart. I don't know you do. You do.
Bre Pruitt 30:00
It's my understanding you have to have a lot of non stretchy time
downtime. Yeah, you take the elastic pants off so the elastic can
rest.
Natalia Reagan 30:08
Huh? I got it. I got it. This is a good way of putting it. Yeah.
Let your butt breathe. Yeah, let your butt breathe. I am letting my
butt breathe right now guys just want to let you know there was
nothing currently up. Am I taking a break? I thought it was
time.
Bre Pruitt 30:24
That would be a great podcast that would be through podcasters are
stretching their butt and the podcast is over when they need to
stop.
Natalia Reagan 30:31
Yeah, you guys my buddy needs to take a breath. It really needs
Where do you think those Gatorade bottles just and I did like the
beginning the very beginning of the film. Packer is getting
arrested while he's getting accosted by that woman in the
beginning. And there's that joke about she's trying to say his name
and I never thought I'd hear Julia Louis Dreyfus his name and a
porn before it you know, was such a good joke. Glenn Danzig, that
was something I didn't expect to hear it In a porn parody before so
these are just things I like to note that good writing the dialogue
at the top was good. Yeah, it was good. I laughed. I was and it was
not like a pity laugh. It was like I legit laugh. But Glenn Danzig,
I was like, what
Unknown Speaker 31:14
was good. Tina Fey,
Bre Pruitt 31:16
for those of you who haven't seen it, there was like a back and
forth at the beginning of the film. And it was like a bunch of
nonsense names came out. And yeah, it was like, Oh, this is a these
are cultural references that I share with the writer of this movie
Who would have thought, I also thought that was very funny. I also
wondered if that scene was so sharp because of cuts if it was very
good editing or good acting, and I suspect it was good editing.
Alice Vaughn 31:42
Props to the editor of the film
Bre Pruitt 31:44
editors are kings and queens, especially with comedy, you know,
it's really got a pop. There's a rhythm to it. And the first scene
that movie really, really got the comedy of it. That's when you
knew what you were watching man.
Natalia Reagan 31:55
So are you saying that if you were to watch a porn where they tried
to joke about It failed miserably because they can't act. Would you
be more turned on? Because the comedy fails?
Bre Pruitt 32:05
No, nothing makes me softer than jokes that don't land.
Natalia Reagan 32:09
Yeah, so a flat joke is just a flat
Bre Pruitt 32:11
ass. Yeah, no one wants to fuck a comic who bombs, right. So yeah,
they were really sharp off the top with dialogue. Yeah. And then I
thought, Oh, dang, maybe the dialogue is gonna be good. And maybe I
had to keep watching this.
Natalia Reagan 32:24
And I thought yeah, I thought picker. quill was like the actor
playing Chris props role, but he did a great job. I thought I
thought he was a very onpoint Chris Pratt want to be I mean, he had
a he was likable but not too likable. He was sexy enough. I mean, I
wasn't premium on panties, but I was definitely you know, I thought
it was an attractive, good picker clothes.
Bre Pruitt 32:45
big shoes to fill. You know? Yeah, yeah. Chris Pratt is a straight
up dreamboat and even like, the I think the toughest things for
guys to get hot wise is like disheveled hot because it's so easy to
slip into slob, especially Chris Pratt, who's a little on the donor
side, you know, I mean, not for guardians of galaxy but previously
and he's still hot a little bit, you know, like, thick and schlubby
you know, but not a lot of men can can make that work you know,
they haven't found out yet dad bought hot yeah the dadbod Yeah. So
I think this guy did a fair job of bringing the likability in.
Alice Vaughn 33:24
I mean, I still would have watched Guardians of the Galaxy if they
had Chris Pratt in the body of Andy Dwyer would have been fine.
Yeah, keep the personality of Andy Dwyer too. I
Bre Pruitt 33:33
would have liked it more. I'll go yes with you. I'm a very I'm into
thick I love fat people and I am dying to see a fat superhero and I
heard that Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy Murthy are coming
out with a Superman movie. I'm so excited.
Natalia Reagan 33:48
What Yeah, I saw pictures of it supposed to be you know pictures
from on site and they look fantastic. I mean, the costumes three
Captain Marvel s costumes are ready for it. Oh, yeah. But you
Bre Pruitt 34:00
I take Andy Dwyer bot any day.
Natalia Reagan 34:02
Yeah, I definitely prefer dadbod to ripped any day I've never I've
never really been into shredded guys like nothing gets I just don't
find a six pack well just a lot of time and energy that I feel like
I don't know that's a lot of pressure that they're going to I feel
like possibly put on me to be something as well and I'm just like I
don't have that I don't like that at all but you know, especially
guys that are very have sort of standards or think that their idea
of beauty is in a box. My preference is something to hold on to
always husband like to grab parts. If it's it's all hard. There's
nothing wrong.
Bre Pruitt 34:38
Yeah, I think that this guy this nardin's guy was despite being
lean and mean, brought some likability in there. And he delivered
dialog really good, which was appreciated. I will be honest with
you guys. I did not see his dick or his body at all. I did not
watch those parts of the movie.
Alice Vaughn 34:54
We didn't ask you to to work.
Bre Pruitt 34:56
But yeah, I mean, he seemed like the thing about that character,
the star character is he's very, he's kind of slimy, you know, he's
kind of like Bradley Cooper and every other movie where it's like
this guy, you know? So that's already in there. Disney had a tough
job of making this movie because all the Misfits are kind of bad
guys that we like, for some reason, you know?
Alice Vaughn 35:19
Yeah. So going back to the writing for a second because I know that
you guys really like the back and forth in the beginning. I mean,
for me, I feel like this movie brought for me the best come back to
go suck a bag of dicks or go eat a bag of decks I have ever heard
in my life. For the cracks character to say, why would she suck in
an entire bag of dicks when one would be sufficient enough for her
voracious dick. Hunger is the best line I am using. Absolutely,
because I've been told multiple times to go suck a bag of dicks.
Why when I just need one for my ferocious hunger? It was
Bre Pruitt 35:55
excellent. Cracks writing, right. I mean, it's beautiful. You had
to pick something that was like, you know, an unreasonable metaphor
and crack says that's his bread and butter.
Alice Vaughn 36:06
Yeah, he's so literal. Yeah. Now how much time do you guys think
they spent on applying the body makeup? Because I know for the real
one, David Bautista had to stand for five hours. Wow. While they
applied body paint. How long do you think this took? I don't
know.
Bre Pruitt 36:20
His makeup seemed maybe the most intricate man and then probably
you don't want to take it off. You think they shot it in one day?
That's what I'm thinking
Natalia Reagan 36:30
was a multi day shoot well, because he wasn't also you know that
that was also a little disappointing. I figured he'd have a sex
scene too. I thought it was a shoo in to have a threesome with him
in the hora and star load but
Bre Pruitt 36:43
she'd be like fuck me daddy. And he'd be like, um, you're not your
father. Obviously my family is gone. You know?
vegan character development for that character. I would love to see I was literal watch a whole movie of him being literal in like the world or or whatever.
Alice Vaughn 37:01
Oh, that would be good. So the cracks character does in part to
have a scene with Nebula so you get some blue on blue. Yeah.
Although it's just it's such a very quick dialogue and a little bit
of comedy and then it goes straight into mostly blow job for 90%. I
didn't know what we were getting into with part two. So I was like,
Guys, we're focusing on part one. Okay. Oh, thank you. You're
welcome. My voracious
Natalia Reagan 37:27
hunger for eating or sucking a bag of dicks was was completely
satiated with part one. Exactly. I am. I'm good. The sex between
them seemed kind of fast forwarded. I got a little bit of it. I
liked it. I mean, but I switched from the little that I saw. But it
yeah, it kind of just ended right there was abrupt. I would have
liked a little bit maybe a cliffhanger, if you will. for part two.
That's just my personal opinion. Or have you seen Alison the porn
parodies after the credits having like, deleted For like Part Two
or like, like a funny little teaser, because that would be
Bre Pruitt 38:03
so fun in Grand Marvel a question that is no characteristic of the
canon, you know, you got to come back with Nick Fury.
Unknown Speaker 38:13
Ah,
Alice Vaughn 38:15
oh, no, sorry, you're reminding me of the awful Avengers porn
parody we saw
Bre Pruitt 38:20
No. Was it a lot of Nick Fury?
Alice Vaughn 38:23
I mean, we had Nick Fury, but it was just it was the writing was so
bad. I see. I see you can't come back from that.
Bre Pruitt 38:30
So this Guardians of the Galaxy, the writing is very good in your
opinion. And the Avengers movie was very bad writing.
Alice Vaughn 38:37
Let me put it this way. The level of effort is night and day. I'm
not saying this is the best porn parody I've watched. We've
definitely watched way more intricate ones but you know what they
care they gave a shit got it. But so before going skipping all the
way to the end. There are a few key moments I do want to mention.
So let's talk about the disturbing raccoon masturbation scene. Cuz
I couldn't sleep at night. I understand. So we have April O'Neil
who they shrunk down to raccoon size for this and in this one time
so after growing saves the team by engulfing them all in a
protective clamshell, as one would, you know, actually maybe more
porn stars aren't protective commercials and we just don't know it,
huh?
Natalia Reagan 39:24
Yeah, that explains a lot of the San Fernando Valley, the home of
my people. That's where I grew up. I like when he said we are
growing, which was I felt like a nice double entendre because they
you know, I mean, I am growing. He's always saying he's growing as
a dildo. That makes sense, but we are growing it was it was a
tender moment. I thought, yeah,
Bre Pruitt 39:39
very tender. I do think that the scale of the rakuen was very funny
throughout. So like, you know, they use green screen technique,
some acting techniques where rockets walking out of the room and
all the actors look down at their feet like Oh, there she goes. But
it's like the new you guys Seeing the trailer for the new movie
cats that's coming out where you're like, Oh yeah, how big are the
cats? Are they cat sized? Are they people sized? Are they somewhere
in between? Because some places it feels like there's somewhere in
between sometimes it seems like they're tiny, like mice. And that's
how I felt like a pro Neil was this little rocket was like, and
also I gotta tell you, this is like the worst mask I've ever seen.
They could have got that mask. They could have gotten any mask. It
looked like taxidermy. Dude, it was so bad. And then also for when
the reveal comes when she takes off her fucking jumpsuit, and she's
just a naked hottie under there with like, a mask line. You know,
there was no blending. It's like when a girl does her makeup real
intense and her face is orange and her neck is white. That's what
it looks like Dude, we can have a hairy a completely hairy face and
neck and then just perfectly not she didn't have hair under her
armpits. You think a raccoon woman wouldn't have a full bush. It's
ridiculous.
Natalia Reagan 40:59
Yeah, no, I I definitely felt like it. I'm all about the suspension
of disbelief for films that took it a little too far. Yeah When I
didn't like is when she took rowing and put him in her mouth but
you could tell that the mouth of the mask she'd go real deep to
even get her mouth so it was just like
Alice Vaughn 41:19
it was it was overwhelming to explain to our audience what happens
is after growing sacrifices himself, he becomes baby growing. So
essentially the size of an actual dildo and they CGI groin onto the
dildo. I just didn't feel comfortable knowing we had baby till
the
Bre Pruitt 41:38
end he still was wooden. He still was wooden so all I could think
about were splinters. You could definitely see that the accident
that made grind very small also made him very smooth, which was
convenient for the scene. Very
convenient for this nardin's parody. Alice you would know
Natalia Reagan 41:56
this. Tell me do you want to I don't know. I'm Wooden dildos I mean
isn't like the wooden teeth of Washington, George Washington. I
mean, there's got to be windows I mean, yeah, I mean, broom
handle.
Alice Vaughn 42:11
We also have a Patreon and I kid you not who carved us a wooden bed
pluck. Oh,
Bre Pruitt 42:17
yeah. Amazing. It's fantastic. I think petrified wood would make a
lovely dildo. It's and that's technically rock, I think but the
sediments have come in and yeah, I know it said it cuz the only
thing I would think of is also how dirty wouldn't any like a wooden
surface absorbs oftentimes, you know, it can get dirtier than say
like a stainless steel table. It could be the kind of thing though
like Natalia I listened to this podcast about how this like convent
was making cheese in these old wood barrels. And the bacteria was
like beautiful and like the cheese was renowned and like the health
inspector was like no the bacteria This is bad and they're like
okay, but the wood barrels it doesn't make anyone sick. Then they
started using the stainless steel barrels and people started
getting sick because something in the world It like the bacteria It
was a bacteria it was a good bacteria and it balanced it all out,
you know, so maybe a wooden dildo would be actually like a vaginal
cleaning.
Natalia Reagan 43:09
Oh, that we would get Jen Gunter on our butts though.
Bre Pruitt 43:14
Well, it's one whole only maybe do you
Natalia Reagan 43:16
know Jen Gunter? No. Oh, she's great she if you ever get a chance
she's on very active on Twitter. She just wrote the vagina Bible,
but she you know, there's all these like, put a jade egg in your
vagina and she's just like, stop don't like, stop. You don't need
like it cleans itself. It's okay. But yeah, I do wonder what a
wouldn't dildo would do in terms of long term.
Alice Vaughn 43:39
So that said, I decided to Google what Intel dos. Oh, and I have
stumbled onto a treasure trove of information will go on. So for
example, did you know that you're not supposed to by the way if you
choose to decide to make your own custom wedding tilde? Oh, don't
stain the dildo? Apparently you're not supposed to have it stained
or varnished at all. Oh, Yeah, you want a natural finish? I assume
it's just a lot of sanding to smooth out any rough spots, sharp
edges a lot of sand. But basically they use something called a
salad bowl finish which is food great safe but not an oil. That is
something I need to learn what that is Wait wait you are supposed
to use oil
Bre Pruitt 44:20
it No it's a finished called a salad bowl finished like some sort
of lacquer or something like that sealant. Yeah, if it was like a
like I have a bamboo cutting board right? You got to seal it with
oil, but you it's just kind of an oil treatment and you know just
keeps the wood from splintering off and stuff like that.
Alice Vaughn 44:40
It is some kind of a finish though because if there's no finish on
it, then moisture will cause it to apparently splinter over time.
Yeah. So what I think we're trying to say is if you're investing in
a wooden dildo or bud plug, do your homework and because this
sounds intense and complicated, do your homework you
Bre Pruitt 44:57
would fuckers Yeah.
You would you dender feely x
Unknown Speaker 45:03
gender fuel
Natalia Reagan 45:06
means tree lover some people hug trees other people fuck them you
know i mean it's I do not judge it's all about the earth baby
branch out. branch out and leave those blasted leaves behind leave
your expectations
Bre Pruitt 45:19
at the door
Natalia Reagan 45:21
get to the root of the matter. Wow oh yeah it's bad it's
exactly you are a teacher put a ring on it Oh yeah, I know it's Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 45:32
it's really bad. Like for students
Alice Vaughn 45:34
I wouldn't believe this if it wasn't happening.
Natalia Reagan 45:39
I like to make root jokes because in Prospect Park, there's this
weird tree structure that is like a clean cut group. It literally
looks like a giant you know, I call him Greg fruits, you know,
clean cut cousin that has a good 401k and pension package but
Amanda group was a fan of growing
Alice Vaughn 45:59
so Team saves the universe in a very simple fashion so apparently
bone and gets on the ship. He gets the Infinity bone. raccoon
decides to start humping bone in his leg. She drops the Infinity
bone. Packer quill grabs the Infinity bone, but he can't handle the
bone. So what how do they resolve this guy?
Natalia Reagan 46:20
You know, sometimes you just got to put a hand on somebody's
crotch. And basically, they absorbed the power while pecker was
holding it and it was very unwieldy. This infinity bone and it was
the power was so intense. I don't exactly understand it. What
exactly it was doing, but it was causing very whole like very well
I was like hot potato hard to hold. So he shared the pain and
perhaps some of the pleasure with good hora and cracks and yeah,
they just grabbed on to basically the horas vaccine and held on
tight Yeah, I like that Crux very Matter of fact, he offered to
grab stern loads crotch and he was Like No, I think it's better if
you grab onto the horse. So I thought for a second we were going to
see some guy on guy and I was I got a little a little excited,
because I like it when they mix it up and they surprise me. But
alas, that was not was not
Alice Vaughn 47:18
too much
Bre Pruitt 47:20
to push in the envelope for the nard fans. They want the girl on
guy action. I think that there was an opportunity for a group
seksyen you know, and they took it, you know, because it was pretty
much ready to go there in the original film. You know, the group
can only handle the power of the bone with all of their powers
combined. Voltron every kind of superhero movie that's a team.
That's what it ends with. Right? I couldn't do it alone. could only
do it with all of our powers combined Power Rangers, Marvel
Avengers Pauly Shore. Yeah, Paulie. Short names as a team in the
army now. No, I definitely feel like there's always
Natalia Reagan 48:03
that moment where it's like the protagonist is like I can do it
without you and then walks away and then realize is no, I needed my
team. And he didn't have quite as fast break. Yeah, a good act
break to sort of come back and do it together.
Bre Pruitt 48:18
It was a great moment of coming together coming together.
Natalia Reagan 48:23
Yeah, I was a little disappointed that they didn't finish out with
with cracks, but that's, you know, maybe they just really wanted to
build up that very long and explosive blow job for part two. But
yeah, I enjoyed it. You've seen far more than I have Alice but porn
parodies that really sucked a bag of dicks. And this one was,
Alice Vaughn 48:43
this one was okay, I would say. I mean, if you're someone who wants
to watch Guardians of the Galaxy porn parody, I would say this is
one of them. Probably the only
Natalia Reagan 48:51
one there was the song they did the remake of hooked on a feeling
by blue sweet. That was fantastic. Their new take on hooked on a
feeling Just on a ceiling
Alice Vaughn 49:02
very hard to clean very hard
Natalia Reagan 49:05
in space no one can hear you cream whoo I thought the production
value on that song was better than a lot of the movie I mean in
terms of, of nailing it it I think it's instead of Ooga Chaka it's
like Ooga fucka or something you know, it's it's got a nice little
spin on mixed feeling, which is such a feel good song.
Alice Vaughn 49:25
Did you know that the film's soundtrack awesome mix Volume One was
the first film soundtrack to make it to number one on the Billboard
charts without a single original song. Wow.
Bre Pruitt 49:33
It's a very good soundtrack. Yeah,
Natalia Reagan 49:37
that's impressive. I feel like yeah, growing up, Forrest Gump was a
huge sound jack and Boogie Nights for me. And they all were none I
don't think either of those had an original song on them. They all
were like Boogie Nights was fantastic. And it was all older, late
70s sort of porn ish sounding song. So yeah,
Bre Pruitt 49:58
you know, get into that song parody. It's Like, if you're making a
movie like guardians, you know, it's this parody. The budget is so
important. It's like, Where are you spending your money? You know,
where are you really going to see it? You know, and I bet they
spent a ton of money on CGI, that stuff is so expensive, and it
looks so bad. Like it's so hard to make that stuff look good. Like
the or they didn't spend it on like the mask, they probably spent a
lot of money on makeup. They probably spent a lot of money on.
Yeah, because it was so much makeup. It was so detailed. It was
head to toe for some people, you know, and I got to assume that
they spent a lot of money on that song parody because it was really
good. It sounded like a decent production value. And it had the
qualities of the song that you needed to kind of create that world
where Yeah, what is it about hooked on a feeling it's that it
starts with the like, guttural chanting it sounds kind of like
exotic and, and farflung and that's what the beginning of that
movie is about. It's like adventure and stuff and heart and it was
perfect. It was really Good it kind of got me excited for the movie
like the way an opening song is supposed to go what a world where a
porn parody is that's what I'm saying they really did a good job of
like like mirroring shots that had you know a dynamic look like the
lineup you know, and picking their moments to spend money on like a
good song and a CGI tree calm explosion. I'll tell you what the com
explosion they didn't spend a lot of money on. There was just some
no bomb on the ground. Like we're supposed to think that's come you
think your audience doesn't know what camo looks like? Alright
guys, come on. Come on. What are we doing here? Right. Come Come
on.
Natalia Reagan 51:37
Lee mon is right.
Bre Pruitt 51:39
Don't come on my hair and tell me it's raining.
Alice Vaughn 51:43
No, it's just a protective shield. I see.
Bre Pruitt 51:47
It was like I was also envisioning like a crusty come bubble. Not
like a like a liquid come can protect anyone. And also, let's just
be clear, man, this is another man. If anybody was gonna say it
would be That protective shell of a vagina not accom bubble comm
does not protect anyone it's not helpful stop making your column
seem important to us it's not yeah
Natalia Reagan 52:09
they would calls you know like saying you know grow a pair it's
like no those things are outside the grow some ovaries inside the
body can take a pounding and like you know the the no and also hot
as balls not a correct because they're outside the body so your
testicles
Bre Pruitt 52:23
are vulnerable and wussy is what your testicles are. I don't want
to grow anything as vulnerable as a sack. Mm hmm. Yeah. Natalia
you're right now I know right when you tell people off after that
I
Unknown Speaker 52:37
actually you guys don't tell
Bre Pruitt 52:39
me to grow a pair balls are not fit for tough conditions. They're
like, sperm quality of human male is is bunk. Honestly, they have
bunk spunk.
Natalia Reagan 52:49
It's inferior to many. Yeah, chimpanzees have really great a spunk
like they and narrow jackets contain far more sperm than ours do
but our human sperm is pretty darn lame like they have like, you
know, double tails swimming in circles things like that. Just don't
be Don't be sperm, but chimpanzees man,
Unknown Speaker 53:11
chef's kiss.
Natalia Reagan 53:13
That's not because I want to have sex with a chimpanzee. I'm just
saying they have very
Bre Pruitt 53:16
and you're an appreciator of the game. I am
Natalia Reagan 53:20
a very large testes to compared to us humans but I also did in
terms of the music I definitely don't want to miss pointing out
that when they were making the Julio I can't say her name Julia
Louis Dreyfus she's such a fantastic actress I don't worry
Alice Vaughn 53:35
you'll get it by the time we do the V porn parent There you go.
Natalia Reagan 53:38
Awesome. When is that gonna happen because that shit. But she so
they're making references to her and then of course they make a
Seinfeld reference and they do a great bad, good version of a
Seinfeld base intro It was fantastic. So I just definitely want to
give a shout out to that lovely moment. Good job music focused
job
Bre Pruitt 53:59
that actress Yeah, sure. satis she's funny.
Alice Vaughn 54:02
Yeah, Tabitha Stephens well done tab. I've seen her before and a
couple ones I yeah, my favorite so far that she's been in is Linda
being Linda in Bob's boners.
Unknown Speaker 54:13
Oh my god.
Bre Pruitt 54:16
Do you think an adult film star comes to set? And if she doesn't
have to fuck, she's like, Oh, well, like, is she stoked? Or is she
like, oh, what am I even doing here? You know what I mean? Like, if
I were called to set and I was I was not making any jokes, it would
feel weird. I would be like, am I even gonna get paid for this? You
know?
Alice Vaughn 54:38
Well, what's interesting is we've had like, for example, my friend
Kate Kennedy will go on set sometimes, and she'll be asked to do
readings. So you know how, like in the beginning of porn, they'll
say, he was my mom's yoga teacher. And I always Yeah, whatever. So
she will do those types of readings and she'll just knock out a
bunch. That's fun. And she'll get paid for I love it
Bre Pruitt 55:01
that would be great if she needs help. I know I was just gonna say
that if you have any listeners in the industry please call me I am
available to read any smut you want for just as many dollars as
you're willing to give me
Unknown Speaker 55:14
I'm a big Smut Peddler. So I you're
Alice Vaughn 55:16
in the LA or Portland area, LA. Oh, so yeah, you're in a small
area. I'm near the industry. Considering we actually might have a
couple that listen to this, Bri hire please do
Bre Pruitt 55:31
I have excellent diction? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My diction is so hard
and off the charts.
Alice Vaughn 55:40
Bree where can our listeners find more of you or see you?
Bre Pruitt 55:43
Ah, well, thank you for asking at Bri prewett across all platforms
that's free with an eye and prove it with an E TT. I just wrote an
article for Playboy magazine which you can read words not pictures.
And it's strictly for my mind is what Playboy magazine wanted, but
I also in Los Angeles you can see me every week. Friday I run a
show called faded and then once a month I run a show called High
Priestess. That's a tarot card, cannabis and comedy show and we
also have a podcast and you can get all those details at high
priestess calm no High Priestess comedy calm sweet. So
Alice Vaughn 56:19
how does that work terror ID cards and pod and comedy
Bre Pruitt 56:23
we should stand up show we encourage the audience to get high if
they want to. They can also like we've done it on in backyards
under the full moon and usually it's it's just like a it's like a
great group and people get high and drink and we sometimes have
weed sponsors. So we've had edible sponsors, and the audience is
just like, Oh, it's just like so happy and vibrating and like the
comedian's love it and then we have a tarot card reader who does
tarot cards after the show. Sometimes we do a little chanting and
spell work. It's just uh, you know, we're a couple of La witches
and that's the kind of show we wanted to see. And so we just
started doing it and it's been about two years now. Now we have a
spin off show in Austin. You Go see High Priestess, Austin or an LA
or you can listen to podcast if you're somewhere else. And if
you're if you're a witch, it might be with you.
Alice Vaughn 57:07
Yeah. Cool. So I'll link to that in the show notes. So if you guys
are in the LA area or just want to listen to Bri you can do that.
So before we jump to the very, very end, so we do have some patrons
too. Thanks. So this week we want to think aid in ferrets stock
Bethany Nicole Andrew gore bob dole Bob Cole Brent, Brian gauti,
Carl Christie, Chris cafaro, Craig Elliott, Elisa, Eric h Falco
hyping 404 Dale stringham Howard Lee Polish I can make it in
Australia Joshua rice, Kyle Washington Kevin bounty long aid when
Michael get Mike sorbets, ko priests pilot Wendy Cornwall and many
many many others. And if you also want to become a patron yourself
head over to patreon.com slash to girls on make or just to girls on
Mike calm and hit the donate button. You help with editing and
hosting and all the expense so we need to get this up and running
to you guys every week. And Natalia, where can our listeners find
more of you?
Natalia Reagan 58:03
Well, Alice, if you want to find me on Twitter, I'm at Natalia
13th. Reagan. I also host podcasts for Neil deGrasse Tyson's all
stars. So the show is no longer going but if you want to hear
backlogs of me talking about Neanderthal nookie and what makes us
human and teeth and and space, you know, black holes and dark
matter and all that kind of stuff can find me on Star talk,
Instagram and Italia 13. Reagan and yeah, you could also see
updates on shows. So right now I don't have a regular show, but
there'll be some coming up
Alice Vaughn 58:33
cool. And you guys can find me on Twitter at rational blonde or on
the T GLM podcast, Twitter, also next week, so we will see you next
week guys. Thanks for tuning in. Bye
Transcribed by https://otter.ai